Movies! 2011!

Without much preamble, these are my favorite movies that were in theaters between the months of May and August, which I consider to be “the summer months”.  These aren’t necessarily what you think of when considering prototypical summer movies- I didn’t even see Transformers:  Dark of the Moon (which is what I think of when I think of big action blockbusters) or Hangover II (which is the same thing, but with comedy).

These are just 10 movies that I saw last summer that I would recommend to anyone.  Here we go:

The Tree of Life

If I were picking a favorite movie of the whole year, this would probably be it. It is one of those “swing for the fences” movies, which to me are always more exciting than, well, “bunts” I guess. I love that this movie takes big risks and sometimes doesn’t succeed.  I love that some people really hate it- aren’t those the movies that always mean something down the line?  I love that it is as beautiful as watching that Planet Earth series, especially since one of the more common criticisms is that it is no more than a series of unrelated pretty pictures.

I don’t agree with that at all, but I also think that it is a movie that doesn’t bash you over the head to tell you exactly what it is. My brain has been in a million different places this year, and I think this movie is perfect for that mindset. It tells a story, yes, but it lets you decide what the story means to you. Personally, what I saw was beautiful and moving.  I guess I agree with the people who say it is pretentious, but in this case, it earns its pretension. Great, great stuff.

The Trip

A stealth comedy for me; I had no idea how funny I’d find this.  I saw Tristam Shandy, the last collaboration between stars Steve Coogan & Rob Brydon and director Michael Winterbottom.  I was underwhelmed. The Trip, though… wow. It is the best use of Steve Coogan so far, playing a dickish version of himself, who brings along his puppyish friend Rob on an assignment to review quaint restaurants in Northern England. From there, I was treated to scene after scene of these two guys basically free-associating conversation, from an impromptu eulogy given by Coogan about Brydon, to a much You Tube’d scene of dueling Michael Caine impressions. You get the sense that Coogan and Brydon are recreating actual conversations they have had at one time or another; this is a movie about two really funny guys talking to one another.

Bridesmaids

Not at all a stealth comedy; I fully expected this to be funny. But Bridesmaids was even better than funny- it was grounded in relatable moments and therefore these women were recognizable to anyone who saw it, male or female. The degree of difficulty in making this movie must have been tremendous- how do you make every single member of a fairly large cast unique AND funny? Anyway, Bridesmaids is as good as everyone says it is.  And where I’d love to see this cast work together again, I hope there is no sequel. Comedy sequels are especially difficult to pull off (I can’t really think of one that was good), and I’d hate to see even one bit of varnish on the original.

Fast Five

The best of the blockbuster summer action movies, without a close second. I am on record as enjoying each of the previous four Fast/Furious movies. They are unique in that each one was exactly as good as the one before and after it (but if I had to pick one, I would say go with Tokyo Drift).  But Fast Five made two crucial tweaks, the first being less car thievery, more Ocean’s 11 capery. The second tweak was even more important- add The Rock.  By doing these things, Fast Five transformed itself into something great. Yes, great… because it knows exactly what it is and goes about achieving that with ruthless professionalism. There are set pieces at the beginning of this movie that would be the climax of lesser movies (the train heist comes to mind). This is probably the most Fun (capital ‘F’) movie of the summer.

Meek’s Cutoff

Maybe the least Fun movie of the summer. Its slow, its deliberate, the dialogue is mumbled much of the time, and there is a whole lot of bonnet-wearing, for whatever that is worth. It is also the most suspenseful movie I saw all year. If you submit and put yourself in the place of any of these 1800s settlers who are lost in the Oregon desert, it doesn’t take long to realize how fucked they are. The more you think about it, the more nerve-wracking their situation becomes. Something as simple as a broken wagon wheel absolutely would be devastating, if you really think about it. Then consider the terrain of the unpaved Oregon desert and think about how easy it would be to break one of those wheels. (spoiler alert:  they break a wagon wheel).  I don’t know if my tiny little words can convey how much this movie worked for me, but give it a try- you will be done in 80 minutes or so.

Midnight in Paris

The best Woody Allen movies make me want to live in them, and this is the first one that has done that for me in a long, long time. That may be because the idea of living with, say, Jason Biggs (Anything Else) or Hugh Jackman (Scoop) isn’t that appealing.  Well, maybe Hugh Jackman- the guy seems up for anything, doesn’t he? It would just be hanging with a pal, a “mate”, as they say… Anyway, Paris looks as beautiful here as New York does in some of those classic early Woodys (Manhattan, Hannah and her Sisters), which is very beautiful indeed. My only problem with this is that I think that the character of Ines is fairly one-note; she is nothing but an unlikeable, shrill bitch. Other than that, this is my favorite Woody Allen movie since Deconstructing Harry.

X-Men: First Class

As good as X2, with Michael Fassbender as Magneto taking the MVP. The rest of the X-Men here are just fine as well, but Fassbender takes the character and improves on the complexity and darkness of what Ian McKellan brought to him. That can’t be an easy thing to do; maybe one day he’ll play young Gandalf and we can really see how good Fassbender is.

Fright Night

I love the original Fright Night, so I was surprised that I thought this one was just as good. In fact, I’ll say this is the best horror remake since Dawn of the Dead; Colin Farrell brings his own sort of menace to the role of Jerry Dandridge and the story is different enough that the idea of remaking it is warranted. I like the tone that Marti Nixon, a writer for Buffy the Vampire Slayer brought to the movie as well; at the very least, we finally have someone mention how terrible the name “Jerry” is for a vampire.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Maybe the cure to Alzheimer’s isn’t worth it… after seeing this movie (in which the cost to curing the disease is a plague that wipes out the world’s population while simultaneously granting simians super-intelligence) and Deep Blue Sea (in which the cost is smarter/faster/deadlier Mako sharks), maybe we should just leave well enough alone. So much has been said about Andy Serkis’ performance as Caesar that I don’t feel like I need to get into it all that much, but I will say that he is the reason to see this movie. Caesar is pretty incredible to watch, and the movie gets better the more you think about how they achieved it.

Combo:  Non-monster sequences of Super-8 and first half of Friends with Benefits

Super 8 was wonderful until the pay-off of the monster, when it became generic feeling to me. Still, I can’t deny that those early scenes created a sense of nostalgia in me, which seemed to be the mission statement of the movie. Friends with Benefits followed the trajectory of a typical romantic comedy, but was much funnier and smarter than most of its ilk. Until the movie got to the inevitable “pseudo-break up” of Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake before the equally inevitable “reconciliation”, Friends with Benefits was about as good as one of these movies get.

Platter Chatter!

Despite getting smacked down, pop-culturally speaking, with one of those life changing events last August, I still feel like I was able to listen to just about as much music as I always do. Where becoming a father to twins was cataclysmic in terms of seeing movies and keeping up with my programs on the TV, I still had to walk the dog and drive to work, so music remained a pleasant constant.

More than pleasant, because I tended to like almost everything I heard this year.  That may make for a boring Platter Chatter, or at least a fairly non-discriminating one, but I just seemed predisposed to dole out the benefit of the doubt in almost all cases. You know how Roger Ebert seems to give nothing but good reviews now that he lost the bottom part of his face and is now infused with the joy of life? I feel the same way, but get to keep my lower mandible!

So here we go. Since I couldn’t really add much to the concert-going section of this thing, I added a few other categories:

 Top Five Records:

1)   Fleet Foxes- Helplessness Blues

Between this and the Decemberists record, it was a great year for music about orchards. As much as the first FF record was a wonderful winter album, this one seems to summon imagery about spring and summer. I give Helplessness Blues the edge over their first one, though, because the lyrical content seems to jibe more with where I am these days. The whole idea of becoming a “functioning cog in some great machine” was an extremely comforting thought in the latter half of the year, giving credence to my family’s new mission statement as well.  As much as I love the title track, the one that has really been grabbing my ears lately is “Grown Ocean”.  I expect this record to continue to pay dividends throughout 2012.

2)   TV on the Radio- Nine Types of Light

This is the first TV on the Radio record that has blown me away from start to finish. There is a much warmer sound here than the guys have summoned before; where I always appreciated what they brought to the table, I now really and truly love it. The first song (called “Second Song”) is a fantastic entry point, sounding weirdly out of step vocally until catching a groove that I just can’t seem to get enough of. Another thing that struck me about this  album (and something I hardly ever take note of) is the sequencing of the songs.  The progression of the sounds here seems to make sense, and is a journey well worth taking.

3)   Das Racist- Relax

Not a record I expected to keep coming back to, but it has hung in there and keeps making me laugh. Not that this is a jokey record at all; in fact, I love the way these guys wrap their tongues around some of the most clever, pop-culture infused lyrics since early Beasties. The beats are good (I am no expert on such matters), but for me, it is all about the chemistry of the MCs and the creation of such quotable sound bites.

4)   Destroyer- Kaputt

My friend Danny described this initially as “mesmerizing.”  I cede to him in this regard, as I cannot come up with a better adjective to describe this beautiful, weird, hypnotic set of songs. Bejar’s delivery is unique, but not inaccessible and works perfectly with the smooth stylings he gives his songs here.  I feel like almost any of these songs could have been on the Romancing the Stone soundtrack, if that makes any sense. In any case, it all gels into a record that is challenging and comforting at the same time. Well done, Bejar!

5)   The Decemberists- The King is Dead

One of the first albums I got into in 2011 and one that seems to keep working on me. They give the Fleet Foxes a run for their “summer imagery” money, especially on “June Hymn”, with lyrics about “training jasmine how to vine”.  Yes, Colin Meloy’s wordsmithery at times make for a marble-mouthed delivery, but I think he’s getting better at it with every record.  Of all the albums in this top five, this is the easiest to love and the most accessible. Almost any song would work well on a mix as well, something I have recently put to the test.

Close But No Guitar:

Wilco- The Whole Love

Radiohead- King of Limbs (Not their best, but still…)

Cut Copy- Zonoscope

Bon Iver- Bon Iver

Beastie Boys- Hot Sauce Committee Part 2

Panda Bear- Tomboy (Not Person Pitch, but what is, really?)

Justice- Audio, Video, Disco

Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks- Mirror Traffic

Smith Westerns- Dye It Blonde

REM- Collapse Into Now (I was unreasonably bummed when they announced their break up, considering I hadn’t been listening to them for the last few years.  Solid final record that can stand up with… uh, Accelerate?)

 Top 10 songs for A Compilation  (Without using any songs from my top list)

High Hawk Season (Mountain Goats), Non Stop Disco Power Pack (Beastie Boys), Love the Way You Walk Away (Blitzen Trapper), Queen of Hearts (Fucked Up), Rider (Okkervil River), Last Night at the Jetty (Panda Bear), The Last Living Rose (PJ Harvey), New Lands (Justice), Calgary (Bon Iver), Brothers (War on Drugs)

 Top Live Show

OK, here is where my lifestyle change has stymied me a bit.  I only saw one live show in 2011, and it was Ween. It was really good, but didn’t do anything Ween hasn’t done in concert for me at least 10 times before. So where I had a great time, I don’t feel like I can contribute to the “live experience” in Platter Chatter 2011.

 I Don’t Get This Thing That People Love

Tuneyards.  I actively hate (HATE) Tuneyards. It hits me so wrong that I really can’t rationalize or adequately explain why this record works on my raw nerve endings in the way it does. Rather than admit that the singer is probably talented in her own way, I will accept that it is OK that I despise this critically acclaimed piece of shit.

I Am So Embarrassed For…

Paul Simon and his new record.  Again, this is an album that got quite a bit of critical acclaim.  I listened, and man… that first song about Christmas? With all that random muttering in the background?  Wow, that is terrible.  Paul Simon is certainly a guy who has nothing to prove at this point, but his lyrics on this record are literal in such an obvious and boring way here that I wonder what happened to the guy who wrote Songs from the Capeman.

Old Discovery/Revisit
I bought the remastered Pink Floyd album Wish You Were Here recently. On vinyl, too, because I want to be viewed as an insufferable hipster who constantly reminds you of the existence of vinyl and to watch Portlandia. Anyway, it sounds great in and of itself, but also still works (to my ears) as the best front to back Pink Floyd album as well.

Thankfully I Did Not Give Up
Not that I could really ever give up on them, but the Beastie Boys delivered what I think is their best record since Check Your Head way back in 1993. I liked To The Five Boroughs, but it felt a bit pedantic and it hasn’t dated well, lyrically.  This one doesn’t seem to be trying as hard and works so much better as a result. Granted, I have an unreasonable soft spot for them, probably derived from a heaping dollop of nostalgia, but Hot Sauce Committee stands on its own with absolutely zero reliance on nostalgia (which is weird, considering how the album traffics in non-stop old-school references).

Wilco is also a band I’m glad I didn’t give up on.  I had pretty much settled on just enjoying them as a live band at this point, but The Whole Love is pretty great record that just happens to be sold at Starbucks.

To Do List (Need to give it more time or a real first try)
Beirut, The Rip Tide

Real Estate, Days

Lykke Li, Wounded Rhymes

Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Wolfroy Goes To Town

Wild Flag, Wild Flag

Cults, Cults

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Summertime Rolls

I saw the big finale to the Harry Potter saga, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, on the same day that I watched the second season finale to Sons of Anarchy. Before I get into the connection here, I will say that I thought that this was the best of the Harry Potter movies, the first one that I can say that I really liked quite a bit.

Why did this one get a pass when the rest of them ranged from just fine (Prisoner of Azkaban) to pretty terrible (Deathly Hallows Part I)? I think the answer to that lies in the age-old pleasure in watching the bad guys get their comeuppance. Now, bad guys in movies have paid penance since the beginnings of storytelling (just ask Claudius in Hamlet), but sometimes the bad guy has been such a vile shithead that the comeuppance, when it comes, is extra satisfying for the viewer.

There is no tried and true formula for that feeling you get in the deepest, darkest caverns of your soul when you watch the hero take out the villain, but it hits that lizard part of your brain that thrives on bloodlust and wants to exact pain and retribution on the bad guy. Like I said, that doesn’t happen with every movie; most movies don’t really make you hate the bad guy.  Sure, you recognize that there is some morally questionable things going on in terms of the things they do- heck, maybe they are even downright evil.  But to really get to you, to get past the blockades of morality in your psyche and make you as the viewer want payback as much as the hero of the movie?  That is a special kind of bad guy.

I wouldn’t include Voldemort in Harry Potter along those lines, although I think Ralph Fiennes did a great job in the role.  Yes, I found it pretty satisfying when Harry gave him what was coming to him, but not as much as Harry Potter fans who have Loved (with a capital ‘L’) the series. Me, I always had a tough time getting past the silliness of watching wizards shoot one another with magic wands. Yes, I loved the books, but my imagination was able to render the inherent ridiculousness of the idea of wizard fights with a bit more dignity than the movies were ever able to achieve.   Still, I do think the success of this last Potter movie has a lot to do with getting to watch the bad guys get theirs.

Season 2 of Sons of Anarchy was a lot like that, too, although I found the bad guys there to be a whole lot more vile and deserving of the type of revenge only a motorcycle club can dish out. After watching an entire season of the “good guys” (yeah, I recognize that the good guys on this show are gun-runners and murderers) eat shit from the white supremacists, I was more than ready to watch payback. And yes, I had that sense of satisfaction in watching the comeuppance of most (but not all) of the bad guys.

Bottom line in movies and shows like this- you need a good bad guy.  Without the truly bad, the triumph of the good is not nearly as powerful.  When you can put an entire audience in the shoes of the hero, that is something special.  Here are a few movies that captured that feeling for me, along with the moment of comeuppance.

 The Untouchables (1987): Eliot Ness, the quintessential do-gooder, throws Frank Nitti off the courthouse roof.

Superman 2 (1981):  Superman crushes General Zod’s hand and then throws him to his death (into a dry ice ravine, but still…)

Aliens (1986):  “Get away from her, you bitch!”  This reminded me a bit of the moment in the new Harry Potter when Mrs. Weasley says something similar to Bellatrix.

Rocky IV (1985):  Not my favorite Rocky movie, but the moment when Rocky lands his first punch on Drago is pretty great, mainly for his trainer’s reaction (“You see?  He’s not a machine!  He’s a man!”)

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989):  Glover taking out Mr. Diplomatic Immunity.  He should have known he was in trouble when he saw the patented Murtaugh “head roll”.

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987): The double slap Hardy Jenns (“With two ‘N’s!”) receives from Lea Thompson. Seriously, Craig Sheffer’s Hardy was one of the best villains in all of John Hughes-dom. “I want you to beg!”

Summertime Rolls: X-Men First Class

Just saw X-Men: First Class, and I can say that there is still only one “great” X-Men movie, the second one. The rest? They range from “pretty good, actually” (the first one), “ to “more disappointing the longer I think about it” (the third one), to “botched, but still looking forward to them doing the Japan story” (the Wolverine spin-off).  The newest one comes closest to breathing that rarified air of X2: X-Men United (I still think that the best X-Men movie has the worst title, though), but suffers from a lack of good mutants.

The series moves away from being a gay analogy (isn’t that what X2 was about?) to a civil rights story, as we watch Professor Xavier and Magneto first join forces and then ultimately fall out over the best way for mutants and humans to proceed into the future. The allusions to the ideologies of MLK vs. Malcolm X are pretty blatant, with Professor X wanting to work together with humans and Magneto taking the “by any means necessary” stance.

The first half of First Class is the best, as we see a mid-20s Magneto on a mission of revenge against the evil Nazi doctor who killed his mother in the opening scene.  While the movie is missing the bad-assedness of the Wolverine character, it almost makes up for it in a scene set in an Argentinean villa where Magneto shows a couple of Nazis in hiding what he can do with a knife, a gun, and well, complete control over all types of metal.  Michael Fassbender is the best thing about this new X-Men movie- he brings that danger and anger that the character of Wolverine lent to the series up til now.   This isn’t the classy, subdued Magneto that Ian McKellan brought to life- Fassbender is out of control and pissed off at the world, at least until he meets Professor X.

The middle section of the movie is these two guys recruiting their team of X-Men, and ultimately I didn’t find these mutants to be as interesting as the ones from the first couple of movies.  A wasp-girl who can spit firebombs and a kid whose main power is that he screams so loud he can fly just can’t compare to Wolverine or Rogue (although it was nice not to have Halle Berry around.  Still disappointed in what she did with Storm, who was one of the best characters in the comic books.  Sigh.)

But I did like the Professor X/Magneto storyline, and I thought Kevin Bacon acquitted himself nicely as the Nazi mutant.  I thought they could have done more with the idea of a Nazi mutant, especially since the whole idea of the Final Solution was to create a master race of beings.  The movie doesn’t really get into that except on the opening scene, set in Poland during WWII.  This is Bacon’s best scene as well, as he gets positively gleeful in watching Magneto bust out his powers in the midst of blinding rage at the murder of his mother.

It’s nice to see the X-Men boat righting itself after a few rough years of choppy waters. I guess the best thing I can say is that I am ready for more X-Men movies now, although I want to see some new mutants.  I guess Beast can stay, although I wasn’t sold on Kelsey Grammar’s furry blue make-up in 3 and I’m not down with Nicholas Hoult’s here.  The only caveat to more of these movies is that Fassbender must return as Magneto.  If he was only signed on for this one and they can’t get him back?  Sorry, pack it up.  No more X-Men movies for now.  Go make that Wolverine movie.  The one in Japan.

Top 5 Movies with Kevin Bacon as a Villain:

 

5.  Planes, Trains, and Automobiles:  Only a cameo, but he is pivotal in that he steals Neil Page’s cab, thus setting off the chain of events leading directly to the misadventures of Del Griffith.

4.  Sleepers:  Bacon plays a vicious prison guard who rapes the young versions of Jason Patric and Brad Pitt.  So, sort of the same role he played in Footloose.

3.  National Lampoon’s Animal House: More wormy than villainous, but still. Actually, anyone who sided with Niedermeyer has to be called a villain, right?  And he seemed a bit too enamored with the various aspects of hazing.

2.  The River Wild: Aside from Hollow Man, this is probably the most overtly villainous character Bacon has played.  This is teeth gnashing, moustache-twirling villainy.

1.  Wild Things: True, you don’t realize the extent of the Bacon villainy until the end of the movie, but when you put it all together, you realize what a complete bastard this guy really was.

Summertime Rolls: Midnight in Paris

Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris is pretty close to being great, almost worthy of being mentioned with Manhattan, Crimes and Misdemeanors and Husbands and Wives. The guy knows how to shoot a city; Paris (a city I’ve never visited) looks exactly the way it exists in the minds of most people.  Narrow, cobblestone streets, merchants going about their business, buskers plying their trade… it’s a very romantic city in a fairly romantic movie.  Like the best Woody Allen movies, I left the theater wanting to live in the movie’s universe.

The story, that of an idealistic would-be novelist who romanticizes the past (in this case, Paris of the 1920s) only to get the chance to live there and meet his idols (Hemingway, Fitzgerald, among others), is a great idea and Allen pulls it off in a neat, economical way- a “magic” Peugot that appears at midnight every night to whisk Gil (the would-be novelist) off to the 20s.

Every scene in which Gil visits and is amazed by these artists that he has only studied and enjoyed is perfection; Allen casts the movie extremely well.  The guy who plays Hemingway is the stand-out; pure virility and machismo presented in clipped prose and a moustache.  But it isn’t only about how his heroes live up to his expectations; the movie is also about how Paris itself maneuvers itself into being the city he loves.

As the movie opens, Gil is enamored by Paris, even considering dropping his Hollywood digs and moving there with his fiancé, Inez. This is important- Gil loves himself some Paris. The problem with his plan, and ultimately what costs the movie its greatness, is the character of Inez. I can’t remember a time where a movie is so undone by a single character.  Every single time Inez appears on screen, some of the time with her equally awful parents, the movie stops cold and turns into a grind; no, worse than that.  It turns into a grind that I can’t and don’t buy for one second.

How would a character like Gil, who is established from the opening scenes, fall in love with a character like Inez? She is not enamored with the beauty of Paris (something Allen makes sure the audience is by opening the movie with a montage of Paris that makes it impossible not to fall in love with the city). Gil is a happy, friendly guy; Inez is a shrill, awful buzzkill. She can’t and won’t get on board with sightseeing, instead wanting to spend time with her pompous friends.

Inez is the exact opposite of Gil, so much so that there was never a time that I could believe in a world where these two would even date, much less get married. The fact that I couldn’t believe this relationship hurt the movie, as it made Gil’s conflict about what time period in which he wanted to live less urgent.

It’s a shame, because with a better-written character, Midnight in Paris would be inarguably a fantastic movie.  As it is, it’s good, far better than most recent Woody Allen movies.   Vicky Cristina Barcelona still stands as his best movie of the last 15 years.

It got me to thinking, though; what are some other movies that could have been great but for one element in them?  Here are a few that come to mind:

1. In the Line of Fire: Malkovich is so fucking creepy and awesome in this that you almost forget how awkward Clint and Renee Russo are.  I love Clint, but he is almost actively bad in his little courtship of Russo.  Without the shoehorning of this love story, which no one could have possibly cared about, the movie would be a classic.
2. Batman Returns:  This is the best Danny Elfman score ever, the idea of setting it during winter in Gotham was atmospheric and perfect, and Catwoman and Chris Walken rule.  But DeVito as the Penguin sinks the movie, and Michael Keaton has nothing to do as Batman.  I like the scene of him spitting out his gazpacho, though.
3. Green Street Hooligans- This movie came out of nowhere, at least for me.  The topic, about soccer hooliganism, was something I hadn’t seen before, and Charlie Hunnam was excellent as the head hooligan. However, Elijah Wood is so miscast that it almost sinks the rest. There is simply nothing bad-ass about Elijah Wood (excepting, of course, Sin City).
4. Jeepers Creepers- Not really close to a great movie as a whole, but the first half hour or so is one of the greatest horror movies in memory.  The last hour?  Not so much.
5. On Her Majesties Secret Service- Lazenby is not a great Bond; otherwise, this would be one the best, if not THE best of the series.

Summertime Rolls: Super 8 & The Tree of Life

At first blush, there doesn’t seem to be much common ground shared by Super 8 and The Tree of Life. One is a monster movie seen through the prism of Steven Spielberg’s sensibilities and the other is nothing less than a rumination of the meaning of our very existence.

Since so much has already been written about Spielberg’s fingerprints on the final product of Super 8 and the (for some) frustratingly disjointed yet ambitious narrative of The Tree of Life, I thought it better to focus on the commonalities. Both of these movies are seen through the eyes of the children who inhabit the movie’s universes, and both Terrence Malick (director of Tree of Life) and JJ Abrams (Super 8) have stacked their decks with fantastic kid performers.

Finding the good (and by “good”, I mean not insanely obnoxious) child actors can be a downright Herculean task. For kids to act like “kids”, it takes a writer and a director who understands the speech patterns, the slang, and the body language of a kid. This is why Big was the best “Kid in an Adult Body” movie- Tom Hanks understood the physicality of a 12 year old, where, say, Judge Reinghold (in Vice Versa) thought it enough to simply ride a skateboard while wearing a business suit.

When you find yourself watching a movie with an obnoxious child performance, the experience can be quite brutal.  How about that kid in The Blind Side?  Or Robin Williams’ adorable little daughter in Mrs. Doubtfire? These are children that make people face the dark places in their souls, where they can co-exist as human beings who do not want to punch children while simultaneously wanting to punch these children in the face.  Add to this that both of these particular kids are so fake cute, so precocious in a way that kids never are, that any verisimilitude that the movies have tried to dredge up at the point are moot.

Because there is an art to “acting” like a kid, and both Super 8 and The Tree of Life nail it. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Stand By Me, I would say that the kids in Super 8 are around an 8 (I would put that at about Joe Dante’s Explorers), and The Tree of Life kids are perfection, a 10.  But what both movies do, and do very well, is create nostalgia for a childhood that no one but perhaps the directors actually experienced.

The first half of Super 8 is better than the second half, mainly because the movie frontloads its secret weapon- the “kids making a movie” plotline. I made a ton of movies with video cameras (some still exist somewhere, probably), and when the movie just chronicles their film obsession, Super 8 is perfect. Every single one of the kids is perfectly cast, although my favorites were the fat kid and the bucktoothed kid. I found it weird that while it was fair game to make fun of the fat kid, no one ever mentioned Bucktown’s orthodonture.

I remember making a movie in a friend’s basement called “Camp Bar Mitzvah” (none of us were Jewish, so I hope we were respectful of the religion and culture.  Hey, with a title like that, we must have, right?).  It was a take-off on the “Friday the 13^th” series, except at a Jewish day camp, I guess. We also filmed a bunch of post-apocalyptic Mad Max-type movies after watching The Road Warrior, of course.  Like the kids of Super 8 (and director JJ Abrams), we emulated what we were watching.  There wasn’t an original idea in our heads, and there really isn’t in Abrams head, either. Maybe that is the point of the movie- a familiarity and nostalgia cocktail should be enough?

If it isn’t obvious, I liked watching these kids film a movie far more than watching them fight a monster, but I guess a summer movie isn’t a summer movie without a Cloverfieldian monster to battle. If you are looking for a good action set-piece in Super 8, the train crash at the beginning is the best thing in it. I don’t use the word “sensational” very often, primarily because the life I lead doesn’t usually call for it, but there is no other word to describe this scene.  Still, I think if I had to pick a train crash scene, I’d go with The Fugitive, bad green screen and all.

The children actors in The Tree of Life are maybe the best I’ve seen, right up there with Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver, Lucas Black in Slingblade, and Huckleberry Fox in Terms of Endearment. The Tree of Life isn’t bound to any particular narrative; instead, we experience snippets of some formative summers in Texas for these children.  The main actor, Hunter McCracken, is so good, so natural, that he makes the name Haley Joel Osment a forgotten whisper in the night.  I’m not even sure this kid should ever act again; he should hang up the cletes, a perfect one-and-done.  I’m not sure I want to watch McCraken sully this performance with whatever stupid movie comes a’ courtin’.

You get a chance to watch these kids just playing, the way you do when you are twelve and it is summer. I don’t know how Terrence Malick was able to get this sort of natural play, but it may have something to do that he makes movies with the regularity of Brigadoon appearances. I suppose with that sort of time, he was able to film and film until he got what he wanted. However it was done, it was one of the more affecting movies I’ve seen in quite some time, and a lot of that has to do with these youngsters.

I liked both of these movies, although I would say that Tree of Life is mandatory viewing where Super 8 is… just fine.

Summertime (?) Rolls: Fast Five

After Fast Five was over, my first question wasn’t “Wouldn’t a bank vault being dragged through the Rio streets by two sedans eventually get snagged enough to at least slow the cars down?” or “Why cast Tyrese Gibson as the comic-relief motormouth character when you’ve got Ludacris right there?”  Nope, I was OK with that and the myriad of other impossibilities this movie hurls at you.  My question was, “Why no drifting?”  Remember drifting?  The concept that was the entire focus of the third film (I called it a “film”. I guess its more of a “flick”), Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift?  They even brought the Asian guy back as part of the team that initiates the heist that is the centerpiece of Fast Five, and when he strolled in, all bad-ass, I relaxed into my seat and thought, “Bring on the drifting.  The Tokyo drifting.” Oh, and by the way, every single character always, 100% of the time, enters in a bad-ass way.

But two hours and ten minutes later, nary a single drift.  And for a movie that makes it a point to reunite the various characters from past movies in the series who have shown a propencity for being a) fast, b) furious, or c) both, they couldn’t bother to get Lucas Black or Bow Wow to join the team?  Is Tokyo Drift ignored as part of the F & F canon?  It was my favorite!

I say ‘was’, because Fast Five is clearly the best of the series.  It is the Goldfinger, the Dark Knight, the Short Circuit 2 of the F & F movies.  It is Huckleberry Finn to the previous four movies’ Tom Sawyer. Untll this one, I liked every single F & F movie to the exact same degree.  They were interchangeable, pretty much, but all delivered on what you wanted. Adam Carolla, on this week’s Bill Simmons podcast, said it best: “This movie is like a Twinkie.  How do you review a Twinkie? You know exactly what you are getting, you know it isn’t good for you, but nothing will do but a Twinkie.” (I am paraphrasing).

What sets this movie a notch above the rest is the addition of The Rock. Now that he has shown what he can lend to this movie, I am afraid I must insist that every F & F movie henceforth must contain The Rock.   We cannot go back to a Rock-less F & F movie.  I’m serious- I think he is as vital as Vin Diesel or Paul Walker.  Actually, he may be more vital than Paul Walker, who you could trade out for whoever the poor man’s Paul Walker would be… I’m thinking Mark-Paul Gosselaar?

But you need Vin Diesel, if only because I want to watch the mano y mano rematch between him and The Rock.  The fight scene between them is pretty great; it was like that scene in King Kong when the giant ape fought the T-Rex.  Actually, it was closer to a fight in one of the Transformers movie- two giant machines who look fairly similar to one another smashing through walls, windows, car chassis’… it is something to behold. It is one of the best “Bald Men Fighting” scenes that you are ever going to see, possibly supplanting defending champion “Mike With the Towel Around His Neck vs. My Bodyguard” from My Bodyguard.

So… yeah. The car chases are the best of the series, the first one involving stealing cars from a train being the best. The Rock is hilarious in his bad-assery, as is Diesel. Rio looks seedy as all get-out, making for the most atmospheric locale of all the movies. Its a good action movie, what can I say?

The posters for it state that “Summer begins April 29.”  I am inclined to agree.

Another Top 20 List…

The challenge went out: Name Your Top 20 Movies Of All Time.

There is a lot of ways to go about this- do you go with “the canon”?  You know, the movies that are recognized as the de facto “best”, always at the top of every critics list? Do you pick the movies that have made an impact on society? Movies that are important, whatever that means?

The only criteria I had was that each of the movies in the top 20 had to mean something to me personally. I’m sure there are “better” movies out there, more “meaningful” movies.  There are no foreign films on this list, even though there are many that I admire, if not outright love. Also missing are any movies before 1959, although I’m a huge fan of, say, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Citizen Kane, Casablanca, and The Wizard of Oz.

These may not be the “best”, but they are my favorites.  These are the 20 movies that are the ones the most to me, at least right now.  I could defend each and every one of these movies as great, and maybe I will someday.  But for now, the list:

1. Jaws (Spielberg)- 1975
2.  Raiders of the Lost Ark (Spielberg)- 1981
3.  The Godfather (Coppola)- 1972
4.  The Empire Strikes Back (Kirshner) – 1980
5.  Goodfellas (Scorsese)- 1990
6.  The Big Lebowski (Coen Bros.)- 1997
7.  This is Spinal Tap (R. Reiner)- 1984
8.  Rocky (Avildsen)- 1976
9.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Hill)- 1969
10.  Dazed and Confused (Linklater)- 1993
11.  The Godfather II (Coppola)- 1974
12.  Chinatown (Polanski)- 1974
13.  North by Northwest (Hitchcock)- 1959
14.  Manhattan (Allen)- 1979
15.  Halloween (Carpenter)- 1978
16.  Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Cameron)- 1991
17.  Taxi Driver (Scorsese)- 1976
18.  Alien (R. Scott) – 1979
19.  Pulp Fiction (Tarantino)- 1994
20. The Outlaw Josey Wales (Eastwood)- 1976

 

Trends:

• Of the top 20, 10 are from the 1970s (easily my favorite decade for movies).  The ‘80s are represented with 3 entries, the ‘90s have 5 entries, and the ‘50s and ‘60s each have one entry a piece.
• Spielberg holds the numbers 1 and 2 spots on my list.  That, I think, speaks to what a big influence this guy had on my “movie-appreciation” development.
• As someone who came of age in the 1980s, I would have expected more “summer blockbuster” action.  Despite the (rightfully) bad reputation of the recent summer movie crop, I unabashedly loved many a movie released between Memorial Day and Labor Day. But only four movies on the list (Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, and Terminator 2) qualify as summer blockbusters.
• Sequels! I know, they are supposed to suck, but three sequels make the cut: The Empire Strikes Back, Godfather Part II, and Terminator 2.  Granted, these are three that usually make the “Great Sequels” list that pop up from time to time, but still…

Tied for #21 (in no particular order):

Lawrence of Arabia (Lean), Silence of the Lambs (Demme), 12 Angry Men (Lumet), The Apartment (Wilder), Rear Window (Hitchcock), The Shining (Kubrick), Anchorman (McKay), Lost in America (Brooks), Ghostbusters (Reitman), True Romance (T.Scott), Goldfinger (Hamilton), Fargo (Coen Bros.), To Kill a Mockingbird (Mulligan), Toy Story 2 (Lasseter), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (Hughes), Dirty Harry (Siegel), Road Warrior (Miller), Midnight Run (Brest), Airplane (Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker), Wonder Boys (Hansen), Back to the Future (Zemeckis), Unforgiven (Eastwood), Crimes and Misdemeanors (Allen), The Jerk (C. Reiner), Psycho (Hitchcock), Double Indemnity (Wilder), Vertigo (Hitchcock), The Shawshank Redemption (Darabont), Dog Day Afternoon (Lumet), The Bridge on the River Kwai (Lean), 2001: A Space Odyssey (Kubrick), Star Wars (Lucas), Raising Arizona (Coen Bros), Paths of Glory (Kubrick), L. A. Confidential (Hansen), South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (Parker), The Texas Chain Saw Massacre  (Hooper)

The Chachi Awards (or, the Simpsons nailed this concept fairly perfectly in that Poochie episode)

(I pledge to make it through this entire piece without mention of the phrase “Jump the Shark”.  Starting… now!)

A late addition to the cast of a long-running sitcom is usually a sign that the show has shit the bed. There aren’t many worse examples of Idea Bankruptcy than by saying, for instance, “Jeremy Miller was a cute Ben Seaver, but I’m not loving this new Adam’s Apple thing he’s got going.  How about if Jason knocks up Maggie?”  Yeah, those are Growing Pains references- if I lost you there, this could be a bumpy ride.

Anyway, we thus get “the new addition,” Chrissy Seaver. And when that didn’t work?  Add troubled orphan Luke (played by one Leonardo DiCaprio).  I think most of us were fine with Mike, Carol and Ben, but someone decided Growing Pains needed some sprucing up.  And the list goes on, with Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch perhaps being the most famous example of shitty new addition to an aging cast.

OK, so most of the time it doesn’t work.  But what happens when it does?  When someone is added late to a cast and not only fits in, but DOES re-energize the show, cast, or both?

It happens from time to time, and I have a list of my picks for the best. But before getting into that, the question:  why these characters?  Why do they work, but Raven-Symone could only be a poor man’s Rudy, even on her best day?

I think all of my picks are examples generated from story rather than demographics. The ones that don’t work seem to all be created exclusively because the creators (or TV executives, I guess) thought that something about the show needed fixing.  Maybe a once-cute actor was getting long in the tooth (see Cosby Show, Growing Pains, Happy Days, Diff’rent Strokes) or the plot calls for a character to become pregnant (see Family Ties, Growing Pains again,).

But when good writers create good stories, new characters are oftentimes called for.  And when they come into the fold in this way, they usually have a bit more staying power.

So who are the best?  As always, a bit of criteria to narrow the possibilities:

1. Must have been added no earlier than the second season of a show.
2. Can’t be replacing a departing cast member (so no Woody or Rebecca on Cheers).
3. Can’t be a one season guest star (no Lithgow from Dexter, Forrest Whitaker from The Shield).

With that, here we go.  Before we get to my top five, here are some honorable mentions:

Tiffani Amber Thiessen as Valerie Malone (Beverly Hills 90210):

She was sort of replacing the departing Shannon Doherty, so she can’t be included.  But I did want to mention her, as those Brenda-sized shoes were hard to fill, and she took the show in a new direction.  When she sparked up that joint at the end of her first episode, we all knew this was not our father’s 90210.

JB Smoove as Leon Black (Curb Your Enthusiasm):  Larry David does a good job of shaking things up in his fake life, and my favorite recent thing he did was to open his doors to an African-American family of Katrina survivors.  All of them are now gone, but David (smartly) kept Leon Black around.  Aside from Jeff Garland, JB Smoove is the best foil to the TV version of Larry David.

Scott Baio as Charles “Chachi” Arcola (Happy Days):  Again, not a particularly innovative choice to replace the increasingly aging and thusly increasingly creepy Fonz (especially since the Fonz never went anywhere), but it would be remiss of me to not mention Chachi.  After all, the character turned Scott Baio into a teen sex symbol, paving the way for Charles in Charge, Zapped, and Joanie Loves Chachi (not to mention appearances on Arrested Development and his award-winning role on the Afterschool Special, Stoned.  Anyone remember Stoned?  Anyone?).  Clearly, Chachi is a gateway drug to later success.

But the best?  Here they are, in descending order:

5.         James Marster as Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel):

True, he eventually became a pussified shadow of himself (before briefly rallying in the final season of Angel), but when Spike first appeared in season 2 of Buffy, it wasn’t long before it was clear that he was someone who was a breakout character in the Buffy universe.  And that is exactly why his entry into the established universe was a success; Joss Whedon was very careful about slowly expanding the borders of the world he created, and the character of Spike came about as a way to broaden the mythology (and act as a counterpoint to the brooding Angel).  He was funny, vicious, and just plain awesome.  For a while, anyway.

4.         Jerry Stiller and Estelle Harris as Frank and Estelle Constanza (Seinfeld):

Again, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld were very careful about who received an recurring invitation to the wacky universe that was Seinfeld.  Most of these characters were only on sporadically, but George’s parents proved to be far too valuable to parcel out so sparingly.  Not only were they unique comic creations, matching any of the regular four cast members in terms of pure funny, but they actually served to show how George became George.

3.   Michael Emerson as Ben Linus (Lost):

By the time Ben Linus first appeared on Lost, the show was kinda sorta in trouble.  Audiences were getting tired of being jerked around by the mysterious “Others”- we were ready to get some concrete “bad guys” to root against.   The great thing about Ben was that he never actually became that “bad guy.”  Yes, he committed some pretty terrible acts (a jihad against the entire Dharma Initiative, killing Locke at least two times), but Emerson was able to get viewers to always question his true motives.   Ben Linus was the catalyst that got many a Lost fan back into the show, and provided the missing link that eventually led to the end of the show.

2.         Ed Helms as Andy Bernard (The Office):

Does this feel a little high on the list to you?  I love me my Ed Helms, and he is the primary reason that I keep watching The Office.  His character arrived in the great Stamford transfer, and he was the only one who stuck around.  A bit of a caricature at first, Helms has since been able to flesh him out a bit.  Gone are his fits of rage, and in their place are now an awkward sweetness combined with misplaced confidence in acapella, banjo music, and Cornell University.

1.          Kelsey Grammar as Frasier Crane (Cheers & Frasier):

Easy.  There has never been a more successful spin-off character in the history of TV, has there?  What started as a character designed to be a “male version of Diane Chambers” on Cheers developed into one of the show’s very best and most interesting characters.  I would put his relationship arc with Lillith on that show as one of most involving, funny, touching, and ultimately sort of sad things the show has ever done.  When he broke off onto his own show, I didn’t have high hopes, as The Tortellis was still fresh in my mind.  But Frasier lasted 11 years (as long as Cheers lasted), and the interplay between his family (especially his brother Niles) made for a completely different, and in some ways, better show.

The Apologist

apologist |əˈpäləjist|

noun

a person who offers an argument in defense of something controversial

I don’t think of myself as a contrarian, but I guess you’d have to ask someone who knows me whether or not this is true.  I don’t have a knee-jerk hatred for a piece of pop culture when it achieves mass acceptance.  Hey, I liked (and continue to like) Titanic, even after it made a zillion dollars and James Cameron revealed his gigantic, throbbing, veiny ego to the world.  I am a guy who really does like the popular stuff on TV, at the movies and in music.

But here are a few areas in which I seem to wave the lone flag of enthusiasm, at least in terms of the people with whom I associate.  And no, I don’t apologize for it.

1. Singers With Abrasive Nasal-y Voices Who Write Super Obtuse Yet Also Extraordinarily Confessional Lyrics:

I am thinking mainly of Conor “Bright Eyes” Oberst here.  I am extraordinarily forgiving of his brand of singer/songwriter, and I am not sure why.  On paper, a lyric like

I felt your poltergeist love like savannah heat
While the waterfall was pouring
Crazy symbols of my destiny

from his song “Cape Canaveral”  should at the very least embarrass me, as it should him.  And yet… I buy in 100%.  You can lump The Mountain Goats and Joanna Newsom in here, too.

2. REM Albums After Bill Berry Left:

It is a fairly common sentiment that REM began to suck after drummer Bill Berry left the band following their album New Adventures in Hi Fi.  I wouldn’t say that they are better now (by any stretch of the imagination), but I also think that you dismiss some of their later stuff at your own risk.  In fact, the album I return to the most is their first after the great Berry exodus, Up.  Yep, I think Up is a better record than the following “Classic” REM records:  Fables of the Reconstruction, Out of Time, Monster, and New Adventures in Hi Fi– all from the Bill Berry era.

3. Reviled Sequels:

I am mainly thinking of three- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Robocop 2, and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.  The element that ruins it for most people are (respectively): Annoying Female Lead and Annoying Kid, Annoying Kid, and Annoying Kids.  To that I would answer (respectively):  Best sustained action sequence of the entire series,  a darker take on the material, and, well, the Thunderdome concept and final chase carry the movie over the Ewok factor.  No, I don’t think any of these movies are better than their predecessors, but each of them are better than all the movies that came after.  Yes, even Last Crusade.